Then...

...as I was walking to my car, it hit me. I thought about it for a while and decided it was all pretty much above me. But the next day I was a bit sick. There is not a better time to be depressed.


Then...  as coincidences in time would have it, I opened up the book I had been reading which was "The Critique of Pure Reason."  There it was. The next chapter was about Kant's conception of time.


The world I know is not the world at large. I have  known no criteria for understanding this objective world except my own subjective view and my subjective view of the subjective views of others. Not only did the idea I had as I was walking to the car fit into place but there is no better way to confirm that the world is not just a mishmash than to have a wonderful coincidence. Either my mind was so attuned to Kant from my readings, which I can't believe, or there was just a gigantic coincidence in time.... about time.


The idea I had evolved from two separate sources. One is that I noticed that my friend Ike and I, being born less than a year apart, had a sometimes specific use of words that others do not. He told me that he had not heard a particular word I used in many years: "umbrage." Yet, it was a common word when we were younger together.   


The other source is the old saw that actors and actresses I remember as a child onward are dying off. We both existed in time together.


This made a complete hash of my depression the day before over the world going mad around me. Of course it appears to be going mad to me, because the knowledge I have gained in a lifetime is not the knowledge of those around me. The knowledge I use to understand the world is outdated yet the wisdom... well, I hope there is more of that now.


And compilation of coincidences I have had in my life provides me with the grain of hope that I cling to that might indicate that perhaps.. there is more to this world than meets the eye, especially when one is depressed.