Tuesday, September 18, 2012

Simply This

I now see exactly why parents often hold their children back. This meme shows up everywhere in movies and show business. Think of it as the daughter with overbearing mom meme. She can do nothing right. She sees in everything her mother says, a putdown of her efforts. I think it naturally shows up in show business because what could possibly be more likely to fail?

What parent would actually encourage their children not to become a dentist, and instead chase a dream? Not many. I'm past the stage of dream chasing, actually, so it hardly matters that my parents are not around to smack me down and get me going in the proper dentistry accomplishment direction. Too late. I've been off on my own for most of my life now and while not as successful in monetary terms as others and more successful than some others, I really don't care. I eat, I have roof.

I have never been a parent and now am a step-parent. My first inclination is always is to pop the heck out of someone's dream with ideas because I sense that things are not realistic in my own terms of reference. I really admit that is my first thought in being the proper parental figure. I only noticed it as I saw it in someone else. But the terms of my reference are really not enough to go by. Why the heck cannot we just say to ourselves: I don't know everything? Enjoy your life sweet stepdaughter, nice stepson. I will not be in your way.

Have I not enjoyed my own life? And when everything is considered, what are the sparkling achievements?  I know what they are and they didn't come from a lack of dreaming.

So how to balance this mess of being a step-parent, in whatever way, and being true to what I really did in my own life? I don't know really. I'll take a guess my own parents were winging it as well.


  1. Hmmm, I'm wondering at this point in their life are you their step dad or their mother's husband. Growing up with a step dad in the house is a lot different then marrying a woman with adult children. Just food for thought. Maybe you're approaching your relationship with them from the wrong direction.

  2. I am realizing a lot about the dynamics of this. Everything and everybody is different in life. I really do not determine my relationship with them. That is a two way street. I know my step children love me very much, this despite the age thing, and that is very comforting. I am just thinking of all the authority figure influences in my life and the outcome of that.

  3. This entry was written off the top of my head in a 20 minute break at work, by the way. This blog is as honest as I can make it by free association, so, take everything in the conversational style it is presented. :)