Thursday, August 23, 2012

Finally, My Morman Story

I've thought a long time about this and have concluded that I really must tell my story and and inside joke that I have battered like a dead horse for years around here. This is not an anti-Romney story but there is one odd coincidence. Anyway, I'll tell my story here where the truth will always out.

My colleague has the neatest desk imaginable while mine is filled with things I do not know what to do with and can't bear to part with in weak moments. I just put the undecided thing in my desk and say, well, at least I don't have to worry later about having thrown it away. It is small pack rat thing going on. But my colleagues desk is organized like the perfect office worker that she is.

We loan or give out pens, pencils, paperclips, staples, tape, white out, Kleenex, and sometimes scissors. Each of us have a few pair of scissors but my colleague, unbeknown to me had a pair she had purchased herself that were of a much higher quality and price.

Mormons come in to where I work to use the computers. I don't know about the unique rules they have to follow about transportation and media, but they often come in small groups. This had been happening for about 5 years and they were always men. They change out every so often, maybe every 6 months or so. Then we will meet a whole new group  dressed as meticulously as their predecessors.

One period of time was different. Mormon women came to the library. The event which has always haunted happened at the very end of their missionary cycle. A young Mormon woman, whom I had come to know fairly well, came to the desk to ask for a pair of scissors. I could not find my scissors among the mass of hoarded shiny objects in my desk and reached over to my colleagues desk to get a pair of her scissors to loan out.

She never came back with them. In fact none of this group of girls came back, and of course, yes, they were the expensive scissors that my colleague had purchased for herself. I tried to explaint the fact that I trusted the girl with these scissors precisely because she was a Mormon and Mormons were the most polite people we ever have in here.

"Because," I said, "If you can not trust a Mormon, who can you trust?" Well, this was an inside joke for years about me not letting Mormons borrow scissors. It took on many variations. I tend to like repetitive humor which drives other people crazy.

When Romney was running, I made a few scissor jokes but none that really were out of character. I honestly highly respect the LDL Church primarily because of all the creative  television commercials they used to do as a public service. No matter what their selfish intention might have been, they were using television to increase the community and personal character of everyone and improve the values of common Americans. Then....along came Paul Ryan. And there was a political cartoon with Romney running dangerously with a pair of Ryan's budget cutting scissors.

Now that is odd.

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