Sunday, July 6, 2014

CNBC lol

CNBC is always laughably fun to listen to on my Sirius-XM. I listen to it when the BBC is covering sports. Without the television picture, the full brunt of the bias hits you. CNBC is like "how can we make a profit from this airplane exploding in midair today?" Or "how can we pander to the ignorance of our wealthy viewers to lure them from Fox Business News?"

Now, I cannot listen to Fox News or the ilk even to make fun of them, but CNBC is so transparently funny at times. They are the ignorance of Fox News without the hatred. Hatred and everything else on earth is seen only in terms of potential profit or loss on your income statement.

And then there is "caveat man."   On the radio, they cannot put disclaimers in small print on the screen, because, well, it is radio. And pretty much all of the commercials are fishy as hell and need caveat man. They find an announcer who can read the disclaimers so quickly that it takes up very little time and is just this side of unintelligible. Put three or four of these commercials together and it is just amazingly funny. Caveat man can end a commercial or begin one.

Caveat man® is like:

 "This-is-not-a-public-offering-but-a-prospectus-and-you-could-lose-your-pants-and-end-up-so-poor-that-a-stranger-could-easily-have-an-affair-with-your-wife-who-is-making-claims-not-approved-or-researched-by-the-fda-or-the-tomato-sandwich-of-truth.Void-in-Alabama-Florida-the-Bronx-and-the-boardwalk-where-I-come-from" in 3 seconds.

He is perfect for a comedy routine but I want credit on my income statement.

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